the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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