how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
