at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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