remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
