is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
