I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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