I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
