What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
