Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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