Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The struggles of a small town man whore
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
