Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
