Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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