She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My vagina is officially offended.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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