My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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