Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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