hotel room ftw
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
