What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
