I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
