Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Randomize
