The maid of honor just puked.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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