the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize