What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
