You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
