I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
