Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
