we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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