That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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