okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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