walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do herpes really smell.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
