Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
