I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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