omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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