Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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