You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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