You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
