My brain says no but my pants say off.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
