Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
