and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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