32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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