I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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