So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He passed out mid-signature
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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