My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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