But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
