someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
