Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
