so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
