just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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