Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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