walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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