come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The adults are the big ones right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
