you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
